A woman turned to Reddit for advice after her husband started pressuring her to have his mum move in with them and for her to give up her job and become a full-time carer.
User PsychologicalWalk930 insisted she has nothing against her mother-in-law but that their home is already bursting at the seams with her family-of-six, including four children aged 10 to 16.
The original poster said her soon-to-be ex-husband also has three brothers who could help take care of the ailing senior but he won’t ask them because of his “pride”.
She also suggested her husband’s demands are part of a campaign to make her life miserable after she informed him she would be divorcing and packing up their children at the end of the school year.
The woman said: “(…) Our house is already packed with the six of us so bringing his mother AND the nurse would be eight…our house can’t handle that and we do not have enough rooms.
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“Also his mother cannot sit down she always has to lie in bed and we don’t have any possible extra bed or space to put a new bed in, husband suggested that she stays in my youngest kids room that only has two beds.
“So my kids (10 and 12) can sleep on one bed while his mother takes the other one and I straight up refused and told him I won’t disturb my kids comfort like that and we still won’t have a place for the nurse.
“He told me I stay at home and quit my job so he can cut off the nurse and I take care of his mother. I told him how about he takes care of his mother and quit to stay at home and he said no.”
The Reddit user said her husband called her “heartless” and claimed she was “ungrateful” after she suggested they relocate to a bigger house if he insisted on having his mother move in.
She later clarified she already has a new house to move into with her children thanks to an inheritance but she will not move until the school year is over to ensure her children don’t have to repeat the year.
She continued: “I’ve been preparing to divorce him for a year now and was going to buy a house then thankfully my late uncle left me a house that I inherited so I was able to save the money I was going to spend on a new house.
“The house been finalised under my name four months ago. My husband is aware of this and he knows that we are going to leave in the next six months so he is trying to do anything to hinder us or make life [in the] remaining months miserable just like having to quit my job and stay moneyless for six months and probably not finding a new job [sic].
“He didn’t tell me that’s his intention but I am aware of how he thinks when he has the expenses to cover up the house with me 50/50 and pay his mother’s rent. What’s his problem then? He wouldn’t be able to save the largest sum of money.”
She said she started preparations to leave him years ago after his behaviour started changing following the death of his father.
The woman then said he informed his mother she’d be taking care of him, resulting in the elderly woman sending her a gushing text thanking her.
She claimed: “He told his mum I’ll take care of her even though I never agreed and she sent me a message thanking me which I didn’t answer.”
Reddit users rushed to show the original poster their support, insisting she was right to deny her husband’s request.
One user said: “Eight people into three bedrooms just doesn’t work, your kids are already doubled up and there’s just no room for her at the inn.
“I can’t believe he had the audacity to suggest you quit to be a full-time carer for his mother, he’s the heartless one here, not you.”
Another said: “Based on your comments, I think something a little different is going on though – your husband is sabotaging your plans to leave.
“Never tell someone when you’re making an exit plan. Your husband is being bullish because he’s trying to tie you to him and stop your career. He knows exactly what he’s asking.
“Honestly? Don’t wait; move asap. He’s likely to escalate. Go around him and talk to his brothers if you have to, but my feeling here is money’s not actually the issue.”
And one user responded: “Not The A******. He chose his pride over your kids and yourself. That is not a good look.”
After the heap of supportive comments, the woman updated her original post confirming she had spoken with her four children and they all agreed to relocate sooner than planned.